Start to My Weight Loss Journey

Hi my name is Amy and I almost 43 years old. I have been over weight much of my adult life.  I started to say since I had children but that would imply that it is their fault and I don't think any fetus can make you overeat so we will leave it at that.  I have not made the best choices with food in my life.  I have 4 children and 2 are almost grown.  It was while visiting my daughter at her college one night that it dawned on me that I had let myself get out of contol.  I am ashamed of myself and mad that I have given my bad habits to the people that I love most in the world.  I have tried or I should say I have bought into many diets that have never worked for me in the past.  The fact of it is that I have good willpower for 20 or 30 days but slip right back into the same thing "I deserve this" meal and out goes the diet.  I hope that this blog will help me to gain the control back that somewhere I lost and be successful in this crazy thing called dieting.  I hope in doing this diet I am able to Change My LifeStyle in the process.  I am a contol freak and I hide it pretty well, I would say that I am a disorganized OCD !  You are probably asking yourself What?  I want to control things so much that I can't  delegate and I also can't get anything done.  If I can't do something perfect then I want to quit and leave it.  I am sure that is why so many diets in the past have failed me.  One bump in the road and I am ready to just give it up. 
I am going to attempt to keep it together and allow others to see my weakness in hope that it will impower me to let all that go. 

The diet that I am doing is the Medifast diet.  My doctor reccomended it to me and though it is expensive, I am looking for guidence and hope that it will help me be successful.

I am 5 ft 6 and I weigh 287 lbs.  My goal is to lose 130 pounds and be able to maintain it. 
I am going to post my weight everyweek and put a picture every 10 lbs that I loose.
Doing so I hope that in some way it will make me accountable to myself ?
I am not off to a good start because I am starting this off in 2 days and I have thought what can I eat in the next 2 days that I maybe can't eat anymore and how can I get that?  This is what got me to 287. 
I attended Overeaters Annomanous last summer and got so much good out of it but when school started and things got crazy I stopped.  I may see if I can fit it in my schedule and start going back.
On Sunday I will blog about my first day and then we will see from there.